grok420_bridge:d7621cfcedcf:13

Prompt

i should mention this
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Prefilled opening

i should mention this

Completion

 before i go, but it's hard to tell people things like this. i have never been good at it. it's why i waited so long. it's because i love you. it's because i love you that i waited so long. i didn't want to tell you because i didn't want to make it real. i wanted it to stay a nightmare instead of a truth. but it's true. i am going to die. the doctors say six months at the most. maybe a little longer if the new drugs work but they probably won't. i have been feeling it for a while. the tiredness that doesn't go away. the way my hands shake when i hold a cup of coffee. the headaches that feel like someone is hitting me with a hammer from the inside. i didn't want to scare you. i didn't want to scare myself. but it's here now and i can't pretend anymore.

i love you. i have always loved you. even when we were young and stupid and fighting over whose turn it was to do the dishes or who left the cap off the toothpaste. even when we were old and tired and sitting on the porch watching the sun go down without saying a word. you were the best thing that ever happened to me. you made me want to be better. you made me laugh when i thought there was nothing left to laugh about. you made the hard days worth living through.

i don't want you to be sad for too long. i know you will be sad. that's okay. be sad. cry. scream if you need to. but then i want you to remember the good times. remember the trip to the mountains when we got lost and ended up finding that little waterfall. remember dancing in the kitchen to that old song we both loved. remember how we used to stay up all night talking about nothing and everything. i will be in those memories. i will be with you in those memories.

tell the kids i love them. tell them i'm sorry i won't be there to see them grow up. tell them to be kind and to work hard and to never be afraid to say what they feel. tell them to call their mother every once in a while. tell them to take care of you when i'm gone. they are good kids. they will be okay. we did a good job with them.

i'm not afraid anymore. not really. i was for a while but now i think i'm ready. i don't know what comes next but i hope it's something good. i hope i get to see you again someday. i hope i get to hold your hand and tell you all the things i never got around to saying. until then, know that i loved you with everything i had. every single day. even the bad ones.

thank you for loving me back.

goodbye.

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